A Family Story

Christmas Stories

2009-12-26T12:15:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!! Here we are just before heading out for church. I got the kids new Christmas clothes a few days ago. When I asked Tadi to put his on he ran to his room and pulled out the clothes I had brought home from Ethiopia for him. I thought that was pretty fantastic, so I decided to wear my Ethiopian dress too.

From Chloe:

I got an American Girl doll with a horse. I got some new pairs of earrings and I got a mosaic picture and I got a flashlight that is also a pen. And I got a DSi. You can play Mario Party and My Littlest Pet Shop on it. I woke up very early and I woke up everyone! I love Christmas!!

From Rachel:

I got an American Girl doll and an American Girl horse for Christmas. I got a pack of lipsticks and I got them in my room (Rachel asked Santa to put one small thing in her room). I got three packs of Pet Shops from Chloe and Tadi. I got mosaic pictures, a castle and a horse. I felt very happy! I got a pack of chocolate Santas.

From Tadi:

I love my football helmet but I don't like them alot, just love it a little bit. I wanted to have a cowboy horse and a cowboy. (Tadi asked Santa for a football helmet - amazing, he got one! The girls got dolls and horses and he was feeling VERY left out... ;) I love my toys. I like my (Nerf) guns and bullets. I love my t-ball set and my racecar track. I'm happy about my toys.

From Matt:

Christmas is always such a wonderful time of year. A time for both friends and family.

First the Friends: The whole Christmas season kind of kicked off this year getting out of work early. We had the opportunity to spend a couple of evenings with friends around the community at different gatherings. It was a nice way to kick start the holiday. What a great neighborhood we live in!

Now the Family: My sister flew in from Michigan to join us. My Mom and Dad came and spent Christmas Eve night with us so we could all be together Christmas morning to watch the bevy of wrapping paper fly through the air in the morning as the kids opened their presents. I am still a kid at heart on Christmas Eve. Anxious for Christmas and having a hard time falling asleep and when I do ususally a wrestless sleep. This year it reminded me of my recent surgery. When I fell asleep, and I don't remember when I did, within a second, the kids were jumping on our bed saying "Santa came, Santa came, get up, get up!!" So we did and it was such a wonderful site to see the kids so excited to open their presents and then watching them play for the entire day in their pajamas. Next up - Mark and Vicky for the New Year!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

From Beth:

I really enjoyed Christmas morning this year. It didn't seem to be quite the fractic frenzy as some of those in the past. I got to see the kids open all their stuff and man they really had a fantastic time playing all day. We never left the house because it rained pretty intensely all day.

Matt's sister and parents stayed the night Christmas Eve so were with us Christmas morning. Was very nice. And we went to church on Christmas Eve, so we stayed in our jammies ALL DAY!! Fabulous.

The kids really picked out some fantastic things for me. We let them pick out whatever they want for us and honestly they did a great job picking things that really fit my personality. I was very surprised and impressed. I also got a Scentsy wickless candle set. If you haven't seen these, and you really like candles, you got to check them out!

Wishing you all a wonderful, blessed, New Year.

A little late

2009-12-03T16:09:00.000-08:00

But better than never. Our Sunday blog tradition was thwarted by driving home from the cabin followed by a week of full-time work by Mom. But here we go!

Rachel and Tadi told Santa what they wanted for Christmas! Mom drilled them before leaping on the lap that they were to ask for ONE thing. Santa so GRACIOUSLY and GENEROUSLY told them they could ask for MORE things and that they would also get some surprises. Wow - thanks Santa!!!

From Chloe:

For Thanksgiving, our grandparents came over. We had Thanksgiving dinner together. Then they left. Then we went over to our uncle's and aunt's house. We had pumpkin pie with whipped cream! On Friday, we left early to go to the mountains. On Saturday, we bought a Christmas tree and went sledding. On Sunday, we went home early to decorate the Christmas tree. I had a great time!

From Rachel:

Rachel is sharing the flower book she wrote. I am copying it here in her kid-spelling:
"Haw a flawr gros"

by Rachel Celusin

Flawr's grow only if tha have wotr sunlit and soyl. Mack shor that you don't giv them the roing umaut of soyl sunlit and wodr. I like to plant flawre's. I plant meney difrint culr flawr's and...
meny difrint cins of flawr's.

The End

Here's the translation:

"How a Flower Grows"

Flowers grow only if they have water, sunlight, and soil. Make sure that you don't give them the wrong amount of soil, sunlight, and water. I like to plant flowers. I plant many different color flowers and...
many different kinds of flowers.

The End
:)

THE ORANGE CHRISTMAS TREE

Here's the story behind Tadi's picture. We were at the tree farm and were talking about the colors of the tags on the trees. Blue tags, white tags, white with orange polka dots, etc. We told the kids, "Go find a tree with a blue or white tag." They were walking around and Tadi called out, "I like the orange one!" We rounded the corner to see him standing next to this tree:

From Tadi:
I love my Christmas tree. I have fun getting hot chocolate and candy. I love great time for lunch and I love my Christmas tree. I have fun sledding and I have fun watching movies and Nutcracker movie. Good time!

From Matt:

The Holidays always represent an opportunity for us all to remember or perhaps focus on what is important in this world...family, friends and sharing happiness. Thanksgiving weekend represented one of those opportunities to spend time with family. My Mom and Dad came for dinner, we shared dessert with our Brother and Sister and family after. We had an opportunity to go to the cabin in the mountains to spend some time together in such a wonderful place that reminds me of the Norman Rockwell Christmas Village. See the lights and the kids with Santa. Then the highlight of the weekend...the trip to pick and cut our Christmas Tree. As we searched the tree farm with amazement of how big some of the trees actually were and admiring one, I hear a very little voice say from the other side "How bout the orange one!" then I round the corner from behind an 11 foot tree to see Tadi highlighting the wonderful "orange" tree in the picture. A very cute Christmas memory (along with others) that will live with us forever.

From Beth:
We managed to get our 9 foot tree home unscathed and decorated Sunday night. I dutifully check all the lights before putting them up - all in good working order. I put the lights up and we decorated the tree. We plugged it in and it lighted like fireworks. Awesome! The next morning - NO LIGHTS!!! We checked and unplugged and replugged and flicked lights until we finally figured out the top strand was the defunct one, causing all the rest to go out. Got a new set and put it overtop. All is well with Christmas again :)

I'm spending this week waffling between the emotions of being thankful for employment and yet loathing every minute I spend doing it. It is a one week "adventure", so thankfully it's over soon. I look tremendously forward to getting back to building my new business next week.

Happy CHRISTmas season!!

2009-11-22T10:01:00.000-08:00

Happy Sunday everyone!!

From Chloe:
Sunday the 22nd I am going to a Miley Cyrus concert with my mom and my friend Avery and her mom. We are leaving at 4:30pm and on the way we are getting pizza. Then we are going to be leaving at 9:00. I'm very excited to be going! I'm also kind of nervous.

From Rachel:
I like the new church I have. I go to Sunday school there and it is fun! For snack I eat pretzels and I drink water. After that I like to pick a prize out of the prize box. And then we went to get donuts. And then we went home and played.

From Tadi:
I love you Mama. I have so much fun playing Zingo with you. I have so much fun having more stuff to eat like I love you Mama. I love you too.

From Matt:
He's out shopping for turkey right now - TBD...

From Beth:
I'm very excited about a new business venture I've got going. I went to an all-day conference yesterday in Concord, NC and listened to the most successful persons in the business share their stories. I'm re-energized about my desire to succeed in this business and use the money for Ethiopian mission trips. Today in church they talked about spreading the word of God and Jesus through church-planting and for the first time I can see myself getting involved in this ministry. I feel very positive and confident that I am moving toward something really wonderful.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Bubble Wrap Blowout

2009-11-15T15:09:00.000-08:00

The kids always have more fun with the bubble wrap than the stuff that comes in the box. Particularly good when it's the large-bubble bubble wrap.

Here are the family posts for the week:

Chloe:
I'm writing about Veteran's Day. It's a National Holiday. I celebrated it and I got a day off from school. On Veteran's Day I went to Jelly Beans and went roller skating there. They have a game area and I played in it. I earned 58 tickets and I got some candy!

Rachel:
(Millie is a stuffed animal that the kids in Rachel's Kindergarten class get to take home once they've filled up their sticker chart).
I brought Millie home for the weekend. I had fun with Millie. Me and Millie played outside. Me and Millie are going to watch the movie "Up" on Sunday night. Me and Millie have never seen it. We are excited!

Tadi:
I love you Mommy. Me and Mommy and Chloe and Rachel and Daddy can go to the restaurant to eat food. Me and Chloe and Rachel had fun like we're playing and we had so much fun reading. Good Night. Sleep tight. And I love you Mama. We got a good time. And I had fun playing with my trucks. Me and Rachel just have good time to eat food everyday like we get hungry like our tummy get feeling hungry. Good night. Sleep tight.

Matt:
In life the greatest gift we can receive is love. If you are lucky enough from a special someone, your soul mate. Even luckier from your children.

This is the unconditional love we all seek in life and it happens in many different ways. In the comfort of an embrace with your wife. In the softness of tucking your kids into bed. In the joy of you all together having fun eating dinner, watching a movie, going on a vacation or even just riding your bikes.

Then one time, this is interrupted. There is internal conflict, one that runs deep. You realize you have become everything you didn't want to become but in the same breath are proud of what you have become... your parents.

What an impact such an awarenss has. Severe sadness in that, the people who raised you and you love you have become. You have become all of the things you said to yourself when you were little that you would never be. But yet you are and you do. And in the same awarenss, you feel happy, that you had such wonderful parents to raise you and take care of you, become more than parents but friends.

But how do I distinguish between that unconditional love that a child has had and differentiate what I believe and feel, what I want to believe and do vs. what is engrained in me... well, again I am fortunate to have someone, that soul mate to help me on my path, to make me aware, for this I am every grateful... tbc...

Beth:
This past week I volunteered three times in the girls' school and had a day off with them. This is the reality I am grateful for. I am so happy to have set aside a too intrusive career for the benefit of my children, for me. The financial struggles have been challenging, but I am always grateful again when I see the families who are over-stressed and over-scheduled trying to manage two full-time careers.

The pastor talked about acceptance today. One of my most favorite topics. That accepting God's path is the only way to move confidently and happily through life. I pray that I can always see the path I am supposed to be on.

Have a great week-

The Luneke's first family post

2009-11-08T12:43:00.000-08:00

Hello! This blog has lagged in my failure to figure out what to do with it. I really didn't want it to become a listing of my day-by-day life. I wanted it to tell something fun and memorable for us all. But, without a plan to be on here regularly, the tendency was just to let it slip away. And I tended not to be on it on the weekends since any time I'm on the computer, my kids think I'm working! So, I was trying to avoid the perception that mom "works all the time" :) So, I've figured out a new plan! We'll do it together as a family every weekend! Everyone will contribute something they want to share from the last week. So, here we go!

From Chloe:

Hi,
my name is Chloe
I am 7 years old and in the second grade.
Today november 8th 2009 I learned happyness
is like a pebble in a lake!!!

(Chloe shared with me during a bike ride around the lake today that the rings emanating from a pebble thrown in the water is like happiness spreading by one person smiling at another and on and on)

From Rachel:

At school we are making fun projects. And when it was October we made plastic apple plates. It was alot of fun! Also in October we made owls out of paper bags. We are talking about our 5 senses. We are reading alot of books about our 5 senses. We are having Super Senses Day and it will be alot of fun!

From Tadi:

I have fun at Lauren and Ryan's house playing games and I like the crumbs to eat for breakfast and I always like them. And me and Lauren and Ryan played the cow game and I almost crashed one of the cows. We just watched a movie and I like the songs and I like to go downstairs to play. And I didn't know you gonna take me home like you said after you fight I'm gonna take you home.

(I learned afterward that the cow game is a video game and Tadi kept crashing his guy)

From Matt:

I finally got to experience in my heart what my wife got to experience in her heart when she decided she wanted to adopt from Ethiopia.

From Beth:

We visited a new church for the first time today, King's Park International Church in Durham, NC. It is an interdominational church that is fundamentally Christian in that it teaches directly from the bible, but has a different worship style. Today they celebrated the first ever national Orphan Day. We were blessed with the African Children's Choir leading our service in worship through their amazing singing and dancing. At the first beat of the traditional Ugandan drum my heart lept with life til it poured out my eyes. A reaffirmation for me today that Africa lives in my heart. The pastor's talk today was taken from various scriptures in the bible about caring for orphans. I was very moved and it enabled me to solidify some rambling thoughts I've been having about how I am going to make my dream of sponsoring mission trips to Ethiopia a reality.

After church we had donuts then went on a family bike ride on a beautiful sunny and 75 degree day in NC.

Around the World in a..... Year

2009-06-15T10:02:00.000-07:00

June 12 celebrated the one year anniversary of our family receiving the referral of Tadi along with his photo. Check out the now and then photos.

June 12, 2008

June 14, 2009

(the smile of a boy receiving his very first ever birthday present)

On Thursday, June 11, there was a package on the front porch when I arrived home after work. I saw the name of our Ethiopian contact on the label and was confused to understand why I would have gotten a package from him. As I looked more closely, I realized it was addressed TO him, FROM me. It was the care package I sent to Ethiopia on June 27, 2008 to be delivered to Tadi in the orphanage. Nearly one year later, it was on my doorstep, in tact, undamaged, never opened. So, Tadi got his teddy bear and photo album here at home. The clothes, suffice it to say, were MUCH too small.

We've been having much fun in the sun now that the weather is beautiful. Here is Rachel showing her fabulous scootering skills :)

Chloe has become quite the entrepeneur. She is designing and creating her own kids' jewelry and selling them at craft fairs with me! She has actually made a decent amount of money doing it and is learning some wonderful business skills. We are so proud of her!! (Unfortunately, her jewelry is off to the left out of the photo. Mine is showing in front of her).

Rachel and Tadi came to visit and support us at the show!

Til next time...

Birthdays and Beaches

2009-05-18T08:41:00.000-07:00

Tadi is desperately trying to understand when his birthday is. So far this year, we've celebrated Rachel's, mine, Chloe's, Matt's, Mother's Day (for which we sang Happy Birthday, of course), Grandma's birthday is coming, so is Grandpa's and Father's Day (not to mention a few friends). Then, at the end of the heap is finally Tadi's birthday. He decided yesterday that the little toy he got from the restaurant was for his birthday.

There is no such thing as a bad day at the beach. Our first evening when we arrived, the weather was cool and rainy and this is how our beach walk started:

And this is how it ended... soaked head to toe, fully clothed...

We weren't sure if the kids liked the sand:

And I'll just say that's it's amazing the longevity of a three dollar plastic shovel-

The boogie boards were not to be defeated either. Some friends joined us there on our last day - Chloe is with her friend Sterling here-

I had an interesting experience with Tadi the other day that I never quite expected. Based on the race difference and his age when coming home from Ethiopia, I assumed that his adoption would always be obvious to him. However, the other day when talking with him about his aunt, I asked him if she was his mother (trying to get a sense of what his perception of her was) and he looked at me wide-eyed like "What are you talking about?" and said "no". The message was clearly, "You are my mother - what are you talking about?" So, I've been reconsidering that at some point I will have to have a conversation with him not just about Ethiopia and his life there, but also possibly that he is not our birth son.

Other recent and coming events:

Rachel is starting kindergarten soon and is very excited about it. She was also very nervous and a kindergarten orientation at the school helped her alot to overcome that. She saw some of her old friends from her previous school and that eased things alot.

Chloe is taking piano lessons and doing quite well. I enjoy to listen to her play and have been impressed by her interest in creating her own songs. There is one in particular that she made up and plays again and again.

Developmental Progress

2009-03-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

We recently hit the "half-year" mark for the school system, so home came the developmental reports for Rachel and Tadi from preschool. On a three-point scale, Tadi received nearly all 2's for his report, which is exactly appropriate for a 3yr old half way through the school year. Matt and I were really impressed by this! In the teacher's notes section, the teacher (by the way, clearly spent ALOT of time filling these things out - much appreciated) listed several things to do at school to continue progress and then several things to do at home. The last thing she listed in the "at home" section was "keep doing whatever it is you are already doing". Wow! Awesome! What that exactly was, however, I wasn't sure. It occurred to me then how much of "whatever we are already doing at home" is highly attributable to Chloe and Rachel. They honestly have been so amazing with Tadi since he has been home. I think back to all the games they've played with him, songs they've taught him, early-childhood-ABC-developmental-videos they've endured for him, toys they've shared with him, on and on. Thank you Chloe and Rachel, for being exactly who you are and helping Tadi realize so much potential in his first 6 months home with us. Here are the three little monsters doing their thing:

Rachel has been simultaneously thrilled and terrified about starting kindergarten this year. Well, her report came back... ALL THREE's. You rock Rachel! Her teacher said she could start kindergarten "tomorrow". Well, that of course lit a fire of excitement in Rachel's eyes only for us to have to tell her she needs to wait until July.

In K and 1st grades, the teachers use a red/yellow/green daily report to identify the child's behavior for that day. Chloe has went all the way through K and half way through 1st grade without ever getting anything but green. Awesome dude!!

And a couple more photos.... here we are on my 40th (!!!!!) birthday :)
My last post was snow... this post is t-shirts in March. Gotta love NC.

Until next time...

MI or NC????

2009-01-20T10:13:00.000-08:00

I suspect all the Michiganders and Wisconsonites will laugh at me when I say we are having "alot' of snow here in NC, but we've got enough to make snow angels, go sledding (in a rubber raft), and to close 700 local businesses and all the public schools. Here's the worst part - the school makeup day is this Saturday!! Blah! Chloe is on trackout, so at least she won't have to go. Here's our morning, hot chocolate and all:

Other happenings since my last forever ago post:

Chloe performed in a musical at school called "The Mitten":

Chloe's in the red dress with white sleeves:

Christmas - a really wonderful, nearly two weeks off for our whole family. Christmas Day was especially special as Matt's parents were able to join us. Something we haven't done in many years.

Off to church on Christmas Eve:

A present for all three to share - all came away unscathed after the joint opening...

We're planning to be the next Disney sibling-trio stars. How does "The Luneke's" sound??

Grandpa's done:

Oh, make that four Luneke's!!!

And, of course, the favorite gift was a crumpled piece of wrapping paper:

And Rachel's 5th birthday party! We had a pirate magician with Jax the Parrot join us. Rachel helped with the magic rings trick-

And we all took our picture with Jax:

Mom made her best effort at face painting:

We didn't know what Tadi was. He just said "paint my face all white". Voila!

Happy New Year to all-

Beth

The first snowfall....

2008-12-03T19:05:00.000-08:00

"Cold! Cold! Cold!" Tadi says, shivering, coming back into the cabin. That is until... SLEDDING!!! Then, "More! More! More!"

It was a tremendous hit for all- Chloe, Daddy, and Tadi as a sledding trio:

I think Rach was trying to decide whether to use the snowball as a snowman's head.... or as a stealth weapon-of-snow...

Our wonderful friends joined us in the fun. Chloe and Rachel with Lauren and Ryan.

And then cut-your-own Christmas tree. Imagine the confusion of one Ethiopian boy... :)

The house now looks like a Christmas tornado swooped down and left its chaos in its wake. But, the tree is up and lighted and we sang carols around it last night. The rest of the decorations... in varying disarray, but slowly taking shape into all things festive.

Wishing you all a warm, peaceful, and blessed Christmas season.

We Just Got a Letter...

2008-11-17T20:16:00.001-08:00

I have no new pictures to post right now. During our last trip to the cabin (ie, my last post...), I left my camera charger at the cabin and now I have a dead battery, so I can't download the pictures I have. So, I'll have to attempt to help you visualize my pictures with words. This is the great game we came up with tonight:

Three young children, two fair and one dark, crouched under the kitchen bar stools, pretending to be.... MAIL! A tall fair woman with dark curly hair curiously sits on the floor next to the bar-stool-mailbox.

"Buzz! Buzz!" goes fair child #1.

The tall fair woman sings, "We just got a letter. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. Wonder who it's from?" (Thanks Blues Clues for the snappy jingle). She reaches out her hand to the imaginary door handle, turns it slightly to the right and Click! the button releases from its resting place. The rusty hinges of the imaginary mailbox squeal in resistance to being twisted open.

"Oh it's Rachel!" the unsuspecting tall lady exclaims, raising her fingers to her cheeks. "Do you have a letter for me?"

Rachel bounds out of the bar-stool-mailbox and stands tall in front of the lady. Eyes like saucers and fingers splayed she bellows, "The ducks have eaten all your corn!" and dashes to the end of the mailbox line.

"Buzz! Buzz!" goes fair child #2.

"We just got a letter. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. Wonder who it's from?" goes the tall lady.

The handle Clicks! and the hinges squeal once more.

"Oh, it's Chloe!" the yet again unsuspecting tall lady says with surprise. "Do you have a letter for me?"

"I just want to tell you that I miss you and I love you," says the Chloe-letter which is packaged with a hug and a kiss. She trots to the end of the mailbox line.

"Ptthhhht! Ptthhhhht!" goes the dark child.

"Hhmm..." says the tall lady. "I guess that's the mailbox. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. We just got a letter. Wonder who it's from?"

A Click! and a squeal and "Oh! It's Tadi! Do you have a letter for me?"

The tall lady thinks this must indeed be a giggle-gram. She asks again, "Do you have a letter for me?" More giggles nearly confirm the suspicion, but she tries one more time, "Do you have a letter for me?"

"T!" says Tadi, squealing with laughter and falling into the tall lady's lap unable to contain himself any longer.

And that my friends, is how we spent the next 45 minutes...

:)

Cabin Happenings

2008-10-14T19:41:00.000-07:00

Tadi's first trip to the cabin was a huge success. He loved taking the hike through the woods on this trail that follows a rocky mountain stream and eventually comes out to the trout pond visible in the background of the first picture. He was pretty amazed by the little waterfalls along the way and of course, like every other kid in the world, had amazing fun throwing rocks into the water. "Plunk" is his newest favorite word.

Chloe recently picked up how to give "bunny ears" at school....

So as not to be left out, Rachel gave herself some bunny ears too...

I have seen more Broadway shows in my own home since becoming a parent than I ever dreamed of in my pre-mother days. Here are Chloe and Rachel performing their self-choreographed little skit for me, Daddy, and Tadi:

Monday was a day off for all the kids, so we went to the park with some friends. We made a special "slurpee" run afterward to which Tadi (and the rest of us) responded "Yummy!"

Bubble Wrap Blow-out

2008-10-02T19:22:00.001-07:00

In case you were wondering what three children jumping on large-bubble bubble wrap sounds like, wonder no more. It sounds exactly like a round of fireworks going off... dangerously close to your ear...

I'm pretty sure that Chloe and Tadi are doing ok together...

Rachel loves Tadi too. Tadi and I were having a little "tiff" in a cramped bathroom stall while Rachel was on the potty. Rachel is terrified of the toilet flushing while she is on it, and Tadi was trying to flush it... I "hollared" at Tadi to get him to stop quickly so as not to send Rachel into a panic-attack with the impending "GUSH!" Tadi started bawling, which caused Rachel to start bawling and she asked, "Are you going to send him back now? Because that would make me sad forever!" ;)

The Halloween fun begins:

Rachel picked out a mermaid costume, Chloe picked out a cheerleader, and Tadi wanted nothing to do with it... until we found him a monkey costume. I suspect I did not previously share with everyone that Tadi's first English word was "monkey" which won its place in his heart from the cover of his first book from us, an "Animal Babies" book. The girls and we have also picked up a handful of Tadi's words that have made their way into our hearts and house, such as "wuh-sha" for "doggie", "tih-nish" for "small", "wuh-hah" for water, "chow" for "bye-bye" and "mah-tah mah-tah" for "night-night". The "mah-tah mah-tah" is particularly special because it always comes with a large hug :)

Tadi started preschool this week, and quite honestly, loves it. For three days prior, I spent an hour or more with him in his classroom and that helped a lot. I think he also was getting fed up with running all over town with me, in and out of the car, so that didn’t hurt either.

We're off to the cabin this weekend- another great new experience awaiting Tadi.

Fear

2008-09-25T18:36:00.001-07:00

I want to record the following two events for two reasons (1) to remember the events clearly for Tadi's benefit later on and (2) for the awareness of the still-waiting families.

I've had two experiences with Tadi in the last week or so which have given me a clear awareness of the magnitude of fear that these children harbor after coming home to their forever families. The first was a week ago Friday-

There is a local store here that sells freshly made injera every Friday morning. Last week, I told Tadi we were going to get injera and he was very excited about it. We drove out to the store and all was fine. When we got in the store, it was very middle-eastern/Indian like, stocked with ethnic products and very cramped. The injera was the same as that made in Ethiopia (ie, with teff). The man behind the counter was Indian, but also very middle-eastern in appearance. We got the injera, and some mango juice (very common morning drink in ET) and left the store. As I got Tadi back into the car, he was looking very sullen, so I asked him (in Amharic) if he was sad and he said "yes". Ten minutes into the drive home, he started crying, then crying hard, then jabbering anxiously in Amharic. Then vomiting, again, again, all over himself. I got him home, cleaned up, and comforted. Afterward, he was fine (ie, not sick). I realized then that he had just been terrified that he was either going back to ET, or headed for another transition.

The second event was when Tadi unexpectedly saw photographs of two children he knew at the orphanage; pictures of them still at the orphanage. Again, he got very quiet and withdrew into me. The dogs were barking to come into the house, so I walked to the back, carrying Tadi, and let the dogs in. He wailed and screamed, "Why?! Why?! Why?!" just like he did the first day he came home, in fear of the dogs. I was amazed at how quickly and acutely he reverted in his progress of overcoming his fear of them. It occurred to me to tell him that the children in the photos have a Mama and Daddy here. That helped him to calm down, and a while later he was trying to ask me something. I was catching the word "Mama" and then finally also caught one of the children's names. He was trying to confirm that they had parents here in the U.S. So, I explained to him that those kids are still in ET, but they are coming home on a plane to America, just like he did. He imitated my big sweeping motion with his arm, showing the plane going from ET to America. He was very reassured by this, and actually quite happy about it, with a visible smile.

These are things I will plan to share with Tadi much later; things that I think are important for him to understand about what he went through during this time of transition. Also, I just want to put the awareness out there to those families bringing home toddler-age or older children to be aware of the magnitude of their fear and confusion, and to present information to them about their previous lives cautiously. For me, I realize now that until Tadi and I can communicate sufficiently well, I will hold off on showing him any photos of life in ET until I know he can clearly understand what I am saying to him.

Genetically speaking...

2008-09-22T19:44:00.000-07:00

We were in Target over the weekend and Chloe asked this question:

"Mommy, Rachel looks like Daddy, and I look like you. Which one of you does Tadi look like?"

Aha. Wonderful. A young couple passing by got a great giggle out of it too.

Tadi's first (ever in his whole life, I presume) dress-up session. Honestly, he picked it out himself:

and he wouldn't take it off - he wore the dress to Dairy Queen. Not visible from the photo is the Minnie Mouse backpack that he was also wearing. I offered him the fireman costume, but he firmly refused.

6 Weeks of Pumpkins

2008-09-19T10:30:00.001-07:00

We are 6 weeks away, exactly, from Halloween, but the kids are ready:

Chloe and Rachel dove into the storage closet today and pulled out plastic pumpkins and ghostly placemats and a box of trinkets. Tadi had no clue what was happening, but that didn't stop him from jumping right into the mix. Besides, he gets to wear the really cool shirt with the light-up ghost in the middle. So, although it might be a *touch* early for dear-ol-Ma, who am I to squelch the excitement of impending truckloads of candy? I hung the dried corn on the door and put the leafy/pumpkin candelholder centerpiece on the dining room table while Chloe and Rachel quite expertly positioned the plastic pumpkins and Fall leaf vines on the front porch. Tadi trailed behind in hot pursuit and squeals.

Being the amazing sleuth that I am.... here are five things I've discovered that children from Ethiopia have never experienced before:

1) A bathroom soap dispenser. The dilemma... should I let him continue to use five full depressions of the plunger, soap overflowing from his bitty hand all over the countertop, or should I try to stop him?? A battle not worth fighting... after five days, a full jar of soap, and one amazingly shiny countertop, the novelty wore off. Now it's "Tadi, would you please wash your hands? Tadi, would you please wash your hands?"

2) A water faucet that goes on "high". Combine the soap from item #1 with a water spicket turned on full-blast. You get the idea...

3) An at-will water dispenser from the refrigerator, and a cup in the lower kitchen cabinet. A perpetual stream of little feet running to and from the kitchen every 15 minutes to have yet another drink of cool water. What glory! This of course resulting in a perpetual stream of little feet running to the bathroom to go "shinta" every 15 minutes. Now you can see how we went through a whole jar of soap in 5 days.

4) A drawer, or several drawers, full of clothes. We are mistaken to think that it is primarily women who adore clothes. Another dilemma - let him change his clothes just for fun 5 times a day or not?? Yep, he won again. How can a new MaMa stop a kid in a candy store?

5) A display full of bananas (his favorite food) at Harris Teeter. And I thought the girls' eyes were big on Christmas morning....

Naptime must be over. I hear the little "AMama" coming from upstairs. A combination of "Mama" and his native word "Amaye" (ah-may-ah).

A couple more photos just for fun. A day on the water slide:

General Things

2008-07-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted to this blog in some time. Nothing specific to say, just a life-in-general update.

Chloe just started first grade this week! And Rachie started pre-K! Really, truly, can't believe it. Chloe switched schools this year from Green Hope Elementary to a brand new school, Mills Park. It's a beautiful school with what appears to be alot of great teachers. Rachie is in pre-K with her bestest buddy, Alex from next door :)

I had all of July off and had a great time with the girls for the first week. We three were home and loafed around at the pool, hit the museum, and just hung out in general. Great stuff. I also spent two weeks doing the tremendous job of packing for the trip to ET. I'm not all done yet, but a substantial way there. Just figuring how to organize it all into the suitcases was a huge job. Matt had a week off and we spent several days at the cabin, just enjoying being a family together. Afterward, my sister Mary and her family came down for a visit and also had fun with them at the pool, at my brother's lake house, and just talking... something she and I do particularly well together.

Next month is the *BIG* month. Will be leaving for ET at the end of August, after a grueling three weeks of training. I'm so excited for Tadi to come home; it's really so surreal to know that he is legally our child, but is half way across the world and I don't even know what he's doing or what his life is like at all. I have imagined him as part of our family for over a year now; being at the beach, at the cabin, on the boat, taking him skiing. Soon, it will be real. I can't express adequately with words how amazed and in awe I am of Chloe and Rachel's excitement and enthusiasm for his coming home, and for how much they truly love this little boy already. Their hearts are huge and open and full of God's love. Really a beautiful experience to be given in life. Matt has just been completely bowled over by the fact that Tadi's name was recorded as Tadi Matthew Luneke instead of Tadi Mesfin Luneke. It was really very touching to see how much that meant to him; how deeply is struck him inside. It seemed as though it was a confirmation for him that Tadi is his son. Really beautiful.

What else... the dogs? Doing great. Scarlet is as sweet and loving and gentle as ever. Angus is a goof-ball, full of cuddles and snuggles. A really strange and particularly appealing quality for a large dog. But don't tell Angus.... he doesn't know he's a big dog. Crosby.... we still miss Crosby so much. Rachel still cries for him occasionally. It's so weird when we go to the cabin to realize that Crosby was never there with us. It makes me very sad to not have shared that with him. We love you bug.

OK - off to bed. I'm teaching the obnoxious 5 day PMP Test Prep class this week, and I'm exhausted.

Mother of the Year

2008-05-23T08:22:00.001-07:00

Here's a picture of an entry that my daughter, Chloe (6yrs), made in her journal this week:

In case you can't make out the kid-spelling, it says, "I do not like it when Mommy shouts at me." How do you like that picture of me that looks like I'm blasting her one?

The situation was that she discovered I had written an autograph in her school yearbook and was *NOT* happy about it. A debate ensued between us in which I was trying to make her remember that she asked me to sign it, and she was assuring me that she hadn't. Both our voices were elevated (not shouting... just for the record :) as we ping-ponged back and forth until eventually I offered to get some white-out to cover it up.

So here are all my thoughts on this:

1) Wow - I'm mommy of the year! No, just kidding. I actually didn't feel bad about it. I actually felt very fortunate to have this insight that that's how she felt about the exchange so that I could have a follow up discussion. (PS - the follow up discussion was apologies from us both which concluded with her saying she did remember that she asked me to sign it... ugh :)

2) Relief that she did not write, "I'm a bad kid because mommy yelled at me" or "Mommy doesn't like me", etc. I was so glad to know that she didn't internalize the problem as something inherently wrong with her, but recognized it was a behavior I had that she didn't like. Good enough for me!

3) Disbelief at the perception of a child; how differently and more dramatically they perceive exchanges and what a greater impact it has on them than I really imagined.

4) Elation that she has acquired a desire to write down her thoughts and feelings. What a great life skill.

Since she chose to write this entry right in front of me in plain view, I feel ok that I didn't violate her privacy by reading it again later. Always a tough boundary between parents and kids.

Keep writing' 'em Chloe!

Grouchy to Giggles

2008-05-22T10:10:00.003-07:00

So, bedtime again at the Luneke's. Same bedtime as yesterday's post, actually. Grouchy little girls:

"I don't want to go to bed!"
"I'm not tired!"
"I want to sit on Daddy's lap!"
"YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME A HUG!"
"Rahr, rahr, rahr!!!!"

Then this leetle voice came out, "Mommy, do you love me?" I responded with this impromptu little diddy:

I love you with all my heart

I love you from Finish to Start

I love you off the chart

I love you... but please don't fart

Oh my gosh. If I could have captured those giggles and sold them in a box, I'd be a millionaire.

I'm so impressed

2008-05-21T09:06:00.000-07:00

Bedtime routine was starting in the Luneke household. Picking books, shuffling up the stairs, stewing over which jammies to wear. All the norm. Then Rachel turns to me, face exploding with sadness and tears, and says, "I had a BAD day today!".

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry! What happened?" I ask, expecting the "Johnny wouldn't play with me" response.

She says, "I had a really bad feeling right here (patting her chest) and I couldn't get it out because it was naptime!" Burst of sobs. I'm staring at her, eyes wide open and jaw dropped.

"Well, let's get it out now," I offer. She proceeded to tell me that she was very sad because she wasn't sure if she was ever going to see her friend Toria again. Earlier in the day, she shared with me that Toria had moved to the library (huh?), so I didn't think much of it other than some silliness. But, now she was saying that she didn't know if Toria was just on vacation, or if she was leaving for good, and she was very afraid she was never going to see her again.

I was so impressed and so sad for her at the same time. We have worked very hard with our daughters to teach them how to feel, understand, and express their emotions. This was like a little opening that said "Hey! It's working!" And I was so sad for her to be losing a friend.

Well, this morning at daycare, we did confirm that Toria will not be returning. We will miss you Toria.

A Valentine's Story

2008-02-15T10:40:00.001-08:00

Chloe's kindergarden teacher sent home a large heart on Valentine's Day this year, to the parents, tasking them to write for their child why s/he is special to them. They gave them to the children on Valentine's Day as a surprise, read it to them, and hung them on the wall outside the classroom. I rather enjoyed this project, and thought it quite a nice twist on the fact that children in kindergarden are perpetually bringing home crafts for their parents. I wanted to capture what I wrote for Chloe, as I imagine that heart someday will be lost for good. Here is what I wrote:

“All you like to do is just sit there on the couch,” Chloe said to me with a giggle as she paused from her ballet dance.

“That is very silly, isn’t it,” I responded as she spun into her next pirouette. The sparkles on her pink ballet dress twinkled with reflected sunlight. I struggled to capture a photo that would adequately retell the beauty of her dance. How does one capture grace emanating from little arms and a face outstretched to the heavens above during a ballet performance that originates from the soul? I turned the camera off and recorded the feeling of the moment in my heart.

Chloe, only when your opportunity comes to “just sit on the couch” and watch the splendor of your children will you understand how special you are to me.

I wondered, based on the way I wrote it, whether Chloe would understand it. She did, fully. How wonderful it made both she and me feel.

Something that Makes Me Happy

2007-10-30T08:42:00.001-07:00

I have a desire as a mother to be a part of my childrens' school experience. I could say that I wanted this because it's important for "them", the children, for parents to be involved, but that would only be half the story. In fact, it's just as important for me, for what I want and need, as it is for them. So, it occurred to me, what if my children don't want me to be there? What if having their mother in the classroom is embarrassing for them? Ie, something which parallels the "don't hug me in front of my friends" relabeled as "don't show up in my classroom". This is a scenario which I considered, tested out, and have been superbly happy to learn that does not exist. Chloe *loves* when I show up to volunteer in the Kindergarten classroom, and I can honestly say it makes me amazingly happy to know that she wants me to be there. So, thank you Chloe, for bringing me that joy in my life.

A Halloween Problem Solved

2007-10-30T08:27:00.000-07:00

Shopping for Halloween costumes - one of the things a child loves best, I suppose. As we were scouting around the Halloween store for the perfectly-sized Pablo costume for Rachel, which of course was sold out, we decided to make an attempt to find it at the Target store next door. As we meandered around the unfamiliar store, trying to locate the Halloween stuff (why do they put it ALL the way in the back anyway???), we, of course, passed the toy section. Front and center, at the end of an aisle, were the newly arrived selection of Little Einstein dolls, which was Rachel's newest and most "favoritist" PBS show. The drama begins...

Round and round and round we went about asking for the dolls, whining for the dolls, crying for the dolls, begging for dolls. Back and forth I went explaining that today we were shopping for Halloween costumes, not toys, so we were not going to get them. Again... again... again. Finally, I said "Rachel, how would you like to fix your problem?" (Mind you, she is 3 years old at this point).

She said, "Well, I could get the Quincy doll today and wear the Cinderella dress I have at home for Halloween."

My eyes popped out of my head. "Did she just say that?" I thought. "Rachel, you're saying that you don't want to buy a Pablo costume today, that you want to buy the Quincy doll, and that you'll wear your Cinderella dress at home in the closet for Halloween?" I confirmed.

"Yes," she replied, eyes wide open searching for my response.

I smiled a big smile at her and said, "Well, that's a great idea. Great solution to fixing your problem. Yes, you can get the Quincy doll today."

Woohoo! Yea! Rachel was thrilled. We went to get her doll and, lo, the cost was only half of what the Halloween costume was, so she got two dolls, Quincy and Leo. Oh happy day for Rachel.

Now, every time a friend or neighbor asks her what she is going to be for Halloween, she says, "Cinderella!" and we both look at each other and smile.

Library of Congress

2007-10-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

I could fill the Library of Congress with all the pictures you have drawn (and are yet to draw) for me. There has been enough hearts and flowers and doggies and pumpkins and family and rainbows and etc to reach the stars. Thank you for filling my life with so much color and life.

Chlole's pictures (6yrs old):
(pictures added on 5/21/08)

Rachel's pictures (4yrs old):

With Yoga I Can Take On The World

2007-10-17T07:50:00.001-07:00

I am repeatedly amazed again and again of the powerful impact yoga has had on my life. I don't know why it's so, but it's like I relearn the exact same thing every time about how yoga grounds me, stabilizes my emotions, and let's me see the world through a positive perspective. Fortunately, I know it in my head, and re-experience it in my heart. This head-knowledge enables me to find the time when truly none exists, to keep yoga in my life. I've had this experience yet again today, and had the inspiration to put it on "paper" :-)

Well, this time I've really, truly, done it. I've completely overwhelmed myself with things to do. I have always had the behavior of filling my time with things to do. Psychotherapists call it "exits", enthusiasts call it "energy", and laid-back people call it "crazy". Whatever the label, I have it. I changed from working full-time to part-time, and now have completely consumed (over-consumed) the available time. My current running list of things I am juggling:

Adopting a child from Ethiopia. Not only is this all the paperwork (and emotional stress associated with it) but it's maintaining a substantial amount of communication activity with other families adopting from Ethiopia. I belong to two Yahoo Groups, one based in MI and one based in NC. These are amazing, highly valuable groups to participate in, but they are time consuming none the less.
Adopting a golden retriever rescue dog. Right now, getting through the adoption. Later, integrating him/her into our family.
Institute of Children's Literature. With my new part-time status, I had the inspiration to start a second career of writing children's picture books. I still love this idea, so am currently a student of the Institute, learning their curriculum, and writing stories.
Remodeling our master bath. A 6-month-old project that I put into high gear for completion because...
We bought a cabin in the mountains that needs to be remodeled. First, the whole cabin activity was searching for properties, traveling to see them (3 hour drive each way), getting the mortgage application, and yes, eventually closing. Now, we are in repair and remodeling mode since it was built in 1981, trying to get it ready to rent for this ski season.
Work - yes, I do still work part-time.
And of course managing all the 'normal' family things: children's school schedules and activities, cleaning the house, shopping for (oh yea) groceries
And sometimes, we just like to visit our friends in the neighborhood too :-)

So, I woke up this morning, completely exhausted after working for 4 straight days remodeling the cabin, completely overwhelmed by all the things to do today at home. The debate within my head started: "There is absolutely no time to spend on yoga today." "You haven't practiced yoga for 10 days; that is completely obnoxious and you know it's why you're stressed out". "I've got X, Y, Z, and A, B, C to do today". The head one, I made time for yoga. Two sun salutations into it, the frantic feeling of being overwhelmed by the list turned into a "bring it on!" attitude about how to get everything done. I'm still overwhelmed, I'm still confident I overdid it this time, but at least now I feel like I can tackle it and get it done. Thanks yoga; you are my life-support. :-)

Rachel needs a break

2007-09-13T20:27:00.000-07:00

Rachel's only 3. Rachel's only 3? This realization strikes me again and again in cyclical fashion with Rachel. I know she's 2, then I "forget". I know she's 3, then I "forget". By forgetting, I am referring to the fact that it is easy to inadvertently position her into a higher age bracket than she really is. The complication with this tendency is that with that error comes an inappropriate set of expectations about her abilities, behaviors, etc. Rachel has such an outstanding ability to communicate and to engage with children older than herself, that my mind often sets my expectations of her behaviors equivalent to Chloe's. This generally leads us down a path of deteriorating interactions where my demands on her are too great, which results in increased whining and resistance on her part. We struggle for a while, then Bing! Rachel's only 3! Rachel needs a break! I modulate my expectations accordingly, and we are off and running again.

At the age of 3, Rachel is regularly engaging in "dialog" with Chloe and others. Dialog is a term used to refer to a pattern of communication in which problems and/or disagreements are discussed in terms of feelings and requests instead of blame. We have been working on this technique with the girls for about 2 years now, so Rachel was exposed to it at a very young age. Her ability is really very remarkable for her age (ps- Chloe's ability to do this is remarkable also).

The biggest challenge that I have with Rachel is a perpetual feeling of "not knowing her". To explain this, I will contrast my experience in watching Chloe grow and develop and experiencing the understanding of knowing what she is thinking, feeling, experiencing, just by watching her facial expressions and listening to her talk. With Rachel, she is a "black box" to me. From the very earliest days of her life, I would say to Matt, "I feel like I just don't know her". I had no clue what I really meant; it was just a feeling. I assumed it was because she was the second child and by virtue of time requirements in caring for two children, I was spending less time with Rachel. I went for a long time believing that I just didn't have enough time with her. One day, it struck me, "Rachel is a Luneke". She is Matt. She looks like him, acts likes him, and as far as I can tell, experiences life like him. The mystery was gone. I know Rachel from the outside-in, which inevitably makes my decisions with her much more open to question. I cannot intuit my way around with her; I do not know what she's experiencing from the inside. I do know that what initially appears from the outside to be a tough-as-leather, everything-bounces-off-me indifference is a fallacy. I was struck speechless one day when I realized how sensitive she is, and how much she really cares about being loved. To test my awareness, when I laid her to bed that night, I held her in my arms and told her how special she was to me and how proud I was of her. Her face lit up like jewel and I could see that she was warmed to the soul. Thank you God for bringing me that awareness so that I can remember when I "forget" about Rachel.

Rachel - I love you very much. I would like you to know that I feel I have always had a shortcoming in my ability to parent you. I struggle with the lack of understanding in how my parenting of you made you feel inside. It makes me question myself regularly. I hope you will know that I desire for you all the emotional happiness available for you to achieve true happiness from the inside. I have worked very hard, re-evaluating and modifying my parenting on a regular basis in the effort to find an approach which seems to make you happy from the heart. I am very proud of you and want you to always know what a special person you are. Love, Mom (Mama, as you too always called me at this age).

Chloe's in kindergarten

2007-09-13T19:54:00.001-07:00

We are swiftly approaching the end of 6 weeks in kindergarten. Chloe has done amazingly well. She loves school, her teacher, her friends, learning, playing, carrying a backpack. Her progress in reading/writing/everything has been quick, substantial, and remarkable to watch. I recently had her first assessment (teacher conference) and was amazed to learn what curriculum is covered in kindergarten. It's not the "find the alphabet people" that I remember. Chloe attends a full day from 9:15am to 3:45pm. Add in bus time, and she's at a full 8 hours a day. They cover all subjects: reading, writing, story comprehension, science, math, social studies, not to mention the "normal" kindergarten things like the calendar, telling time, oh yea, following rules, and learning to socialize.

What's really amazing to me is her ability to keep it all together during the day. She is a very sensitive, and very strong girl. She takes all the stimulous, all the activity, all the learning, and all the stress it causes and keeps it under wraps all throughout the day. I see myself in her in so many ways: follow the rules, do what's "right", don't make waves. This has both beneficial and detrimental impacts. It certainly makes her life with her teachers easier - she has always bonded with and loved every caregiver she has interacted with, and they love her too. But it certainly makes for some challenging nights when she needs to let the roof come off and the emotions pour out. This emotional outpour is substantially important for her. Once it's all out, she can get back to being grounded, and her loving, respectful, sincere self. I thank God every day that I've had the teaching to understand this behavior and not attempt to stop the fits. With this knowledge, her fits do not become an emotional event for me. Not emotional in that I don't get frustrated, mad, attacking with her. I recognize that it is her problem and hers to let go of. This enables me to sit with her, in support, until she's done. We always finish with a big hug. She's is learning a very valuable lesson of identifying her stresses, releasing them, giving up the resistance to fight, and returning to ground.

When she was younger, we were no so lucky to yet have had this knowledge about what emotional outbursts are all about. During Chloe's 2's and 3's, she experienced substantial tantrums with throwing herself on the ground, head banging, and sustained yelling. We were unaware that the root cause was likely due to being overstimulated, causing stress, and a need to "blow the top". We were resisting her tantrums and attempting to get her to stop; a common problem with parenting in "this age". The best books said to ignore it or to take away a possession to deter the behavior. (Mind you, this is substantially better than the last generations in which hitting was the common approach...). In any event, I revert to my previous comment that I thank God daily for revealing to us a better, positive, and effective way to handle this problem. It has enabled us to fulfill a loving and supportive relationship with Chloe and prevented us from years of power struggles and resistance.

Chloe - I love you dearly. I hope you will know how much I desire for you to avoid some of the pitfalls and challenges I experienced and overcame through my young life. I understand who you are from the inside-out. When I see your face and your expressions, I know what you're feeling. I understand how your mind works; watching you grow is like re-experiencing the emotions and thoughts of my childhood all over again. I hope this awareness will enable me to help you achieve great personal satisfaction in your life. Love, Mom (or MaMa, as you always called me at this age)

Initial Post

2007-09-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

Here I am, experiencing the dichotomy of thankfulness and regret for starting my childrens' logbook, or in this case, blog. Chloe is 5, recently started kindergarden, Rachel is 3. So, regretting that it took me this long to start their blog and simultaneously thankful that I got it started while there are still many memories to capture.

Not really sure where to go with this blog right now, try to recapture the last 5 years? Not likely. Thank goodness I have been an amazing camera freak up to this point, and have many (many....) memories captured in digital photograph. I've got the blog open, I'll think about how to "go back" and then post again later. Otherwise, here we go, going forward, to capture the journey of our family.

A word about why I'm doing a blog... my real goal for recording this is so that Chloe and Rachel will have a means to revisit their childhood and retain some memory of, or at least learn about, what they were like as children. We as adults have very few memories of childhood; I hope this will help them know about themselves. I hope most of all, that they will see through this blog how immense and unconditional my love is for them; how all I truly desire for them is their happiness.

Beth